''When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths.
For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away... ''
Sorry my posts has been all depressing lately. I'm trying to get myself motivated, to study, to get on with life, to do simple daily tasks. I'm sick of studying since years ago, obviously i'm doing this just to get by.
I used to think that I knew what i wanted for my future, i had it all planned, but i'm not so sure anymore. It may be the depression's back, the one i thought i got rid of long time ago, or it might be the bug in my brain that's growing again, the lazy procrastinator bug. I'm tired everyday, i get up in the morning, forgetting what my purpose is. I sit down all day staring at my books, how much can a person remember anyway.
I need a life, since ages ago. But i held everything back so that i could have a life in the future. I work hard, sacrificing fun and entertainment. But i'm only human, how long can a person live without socialising? Years passed, you then realize your anti-social behaviour has turned permanent. Then what? You realize the future you have been planning isn't going as well as you expected. Putting your life as a bet, and when you lose, what happens next?
I'm just being very lost at the moment, perhaps it's time for a walk with my dog. I need to snap out of this. There's too much negativity around me.
I'm all alone. Once again. Will i ever get out of this? Sometimes i just feel like giving it all up, pack my bags and leave. Go to a new country, a brand new place, and start it all over again.
But wait, we have done that, haven't we? And the problem was never solved.
I'm all alone. Once again. Will i ever get out of this? Sometimes i just feel like giving it all up, pack my bags and leave. Go to a new country, a brand new place, and start it all over again.
But wait, we have done that, haven't we? And the problem was never solved.
Run run run away... is all we know to do.
My problem is, me.
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