Life and its uncertainties

Just as I thought I was not going to blog anymore..

The future seems so uncertain at the moment, I thought I knew what I wanted in life and have my life planned out. Now that we are both living comfortably, with stable jobs and income, I guess the next thing to do is to think what to do next.

The biggest question is, where am I going to settle? Should I stay in Whangarei? Move back to Auckland? Move to New Plymouth like I initially planned or move to OZ?

Moving town again sounds like a fresh start all over again, it is exciting yet challenging at the same time. There is always that 'what if' at the back of my mind, what if I don't like living in the place I choose to settle, what if things don't work out as planned, what if i'm better off staying at where I am now. How do you decide on where to live when you are considering places you have never lived before? There are good and bad things about each places, how do you justify what is a rational decision? How do you prioritise?

The next biggest question is when do kids come in the picture? And where do I raise them? And how do I raise them? I guess that is what everyone expects us to do next, and conversations with friends now involve babies and kids, but am I ready to be a mum? It's a life changing decision and I want to make sure I do it for myself and my family, not because of peer and parent pressure. I know it would be lovely to have a baby now, and it would also be perfect at my age.  The plan was to have a child before i turn 30, but I do not want to raise a child not knowing where I am going to be living in the next five years. Call me perfectionist but I don't feel comfortable having a baby with so many uncertainties going on, not forgetting the big question about how to raise them? I have absolutely no idea how to raise a child and the thought of being a bad parent puts me off.

And the question about career comes into play, I'm lucky enough to have a job with people I enjoy working with and have potential to grow professionally, but there is also a possibility of finding a better job, with higher pay, and more opportunities somewhere else. Do I want to start my own pharmacy business or stay as an employee? It is a risky time to start a new pharmacy at the moment, because of the law and funding change, I personally do not think that owning a pharmacy business today is as profitable as 10 years ago, although the fact of being my own boss is sweet, realistically speaking it is a big risk to take at this time of my life. I might be better off working for someone else knowing that my job will be stable. Talking about being a parent, I wouldn't be able to devote myself fully to my child if I do venture into a new business right now.

I guess you can only plan this much for life. I have no idea what my plan for the next few years is. And I do not like knowing that there is nothing I can work towards to. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow with a clear mind of exactly what I need to do. At the moment, a husband, a dog and a cat in Whangarei is good enough.

I have not forgotten this space

Haven't been blogging for so long, I am so tempted to end my blog for good. However, something tells me I will want to come back and post things someday. Sorry for neglecting this space, I may not be updating as often but I have not forgotten this space.

Frank's 30th coming up this Saturday, the whole family is coming back from Oz to celebrate, it's gonna be a great weekend!