Grumpy's update

Came home to see Grumpy floating lifelessly, was so scared he died.
Turns out he is still alive, but his water bowl was filthy because I haven't changed his water bowl for months.

I would feel so guilty if i killed him because of neglect.
I am so sorry.. i hope you live long and happily. I will not let you swim in your faeces anymore.
What only takes 5 minutes almost killed him. :-(

He was ferociously attaching the net when i tried to transfer him, i hope that's a sign of survival? Please live on long with me!

Oh by the way, 2 down, 4 more to go!

smiles

First one down.

1 down, 5 more to go.
Wish time would fly faster.

It will all be over soon.
I am waiting for 9th of November 2011 12.30pm.

Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Slept for good 9 hours.
Replenishment is what I need.

I am calmed, although headache is still there.
I'll just do my best for this 2 weeks.

Had a 2 hour talk with him last night. Still prefer talking to him in real but i'm not complaining.
I guess last 2 weeks with all the emotions and stress really put me in a position where i couldn't see things clearly.  Being so one sided and close minded really put us through strain.

But I guess there's only so much you can control in life.
Sometimes it is easier to go with the flow.
I have totally lost that connection i once had with myself.
I started letting my inner thoughts affect me.

I wish I could always stay calm. But I'm only human.

What you see is one thing, but what you choose to believe is another.

Fingers cross I pass this semester.

And all our plans can fall into place as planned.

But in the process, I will keep in mind, that there's only so much we can control.

I'm off to uni for a good say of study.

I wish all of you a good day too.

2 more days

It was not a good idea to have caffeine at 7pm.

After a night without sleep and feeling like dying the next day, I have learnt my lesson.

I have a feeling I will repeat it some day though.

Me being me.


2 more days til first exam.
2 more weeks til freedom.
I am not liking it.

Fate

Oh Karma how i love you and hate you sometimes.

Roller coaster

So I've been on a roller coaster lately. 

Ups and downs fluctuates through out the day.

I wrote a long post, but decided not to post it up.
I might in the future, right now it's sitting in my draft.

If I wait, will it be too late then?
But if i were to do something now, what can I do?

Champion

Good job All Blacks.
You made us proud.

It's ok not to be ok

Quote

I haven't posted quotes in a while, that's simply because I stopped searching.

Quote for today,

''Inner strength comes from stuggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.''

Focus focus focus

I need to focus!!!!!!!!!

=(

Birthday!

Happy 27th Birthday Baby
=)

Shattered

Others are not responsible for your lies. You can have 1 million excuses to do so, but really, lying is your personal choice, do not blame it on others.

It was NOT for me, it was for yourself.

=(

Exams in 2 weeks.
I am still depressed and very stressed.

It does not help hearing all this fun things other people are doing, while I am stuck here at one position trying to pass my exams. It takes a lot to try be happy for them.

I just hope this is over soon in a good way. And hope all this stress that has been built up does not make me mental.

It will be okay after exams, i kept telling myself.
But a lot of things cannot be reversed, such as the time that has passed.

I just want this to be over.

Hope that fades

I'm not going to lie.
I have been very depressed lately.

I have put back blogging many times, simply because i did not know how to express myself, and i didn't want people to get the wrong idea. I know i mentioned how i like to express my feelings here, but i also became a victim of the publicity. Sometimes, some things are best not mentioned.

A lot has been going on lately, namely approaching exams, failing assessments, family issues, life, friends, relationship, everything.

I am dying on the inside slowly.

The pressure in me is starting to show on my health. The stress inside me is pushing everyone away from me.
I am pushing everyone away from me.

Sometimes i wonder is everything really going to be worth it in the end?
Giving up so much for a damn degree. Will i really be happier when i finish? What does my future holds? Is this really what I wanted?
I did this to run away from my past, but will i ever be able to?
The more I try to act like everything's ok, the worse things become.

Long distance relationship, one after another time. Why did I even let it happen? Again? As if one failed experience wasn't enough.
Study.. passing exams.. what's all this for anyway?
Friends, competition, betrayal, lies... the more you know, the harder it gets.

I wish I could just give it all up.
I wish I could just end it all.

I'm all alone. I guess I was never not alone.

Trip confirmed!

In the midst of stress...
The exchange programme is finally finalized!
And I have literally just made the first payment to part of my trip fee!

I will be going to USA on New year's eve for 5 weeks! 2 weeks of holiday, 3 weeks for a student exchange programme.

The main city we are visiting includes LA - Las Vegas - Memphis - New York!!

Spending New year's in LA..and then Las Vegas.
Excited =D

Words that hurt

Some things are so simple but people just don't get.

Some words that are said can never be taken back.

One time after another, we take each other for granted.
Spreading untrue rumours, with the intention just to hurt..

Hurting someone who did nothing wrong,
hurting someone who gave her entire life to love you.

 
Does hurting someone really makes you happy?

I thought it only hurts you back in double?

Well, that's what I think anyway.
Maybe it's different for them..

Why they did it? I don't know.

I hope one day they realize.

I have given up.