Little building blocks of my life

Bad luck

2012-02-11T21:57:00.000+13:00

This year seems to be a bad luck year for me.

First, my travel card got hacked, and i lost 1.5k NZD while in USA because somebody used my card number and withdrawn money.
Bank is still investigating the case, but they are not refunding money just yet. I hope they do even though chances are slim.

Second, my SD card died during my trip and all the pictures i took in LA, Las Vegas, Disneyland, Universal studio..... all of my first 3 weeks of stay in USA are gone. Words can't explain how sad I am, in disneyland, everyone else didn't bring camera because it was inconvenient so they depended on me to take picture for them, and now my memory card is busted.

Third, I had a car accident today. My first crash ever. I was reversing my car from parking lot and this other car was stopping behind me cause there was pedestrian crossing, I didn't see the car cause it was dark and I was in a hurry to get home, so i crashed into this old couple's car.

I felt terrible right now. Why are all these bad things happening to me.

I spent the day today talking about planning the wedding with friends. And now I'm really stressed up about planning a big wedding in my final year of uni, aka the most important year of my education life.

I really hope this year don't turn out to be worse than right now, cause it's certainly not looking good at the moment.

Whatever happens, just let me pass my exams and graduate smoothly. I hope none of this major event will affect my studies.

Just a summary of the events happening this year:

Wedding planning (location, dates, dress, guest list...blabla balala) This takes a whole year, feel like just hiring a wedding planner.
Final year dissertation
Mid year Msia/Taiwan trip
Final year community placement
Internship application
Interview for internship
Ball
Pubcrawl
First Aid course
Final exam!! Lots of oral exams!!
Graduation trip
Completion ceremony

And then next year:

Starting internship
Wedding!!! in NZ
Wedding!!! in Msia
Wedding!!! in HK
(no place for honeymoon will have to push to the following year, too busy!)
Spain trip
Final internship Exam!!!!!!!! = pharmacist registration!!! Biggest day of my career!!

If my bad luck continues on, i really don't know if i can survive this year and then next.
I'm so stressed up just thinking about it.
:(

But first, have to sort out the compensation of the damage i made to the old ladies' car.
FML.

Home

2012-02-09T12:04:00.000+13:00

Home from the states, i spent almost all of my summer holiday away from home, first New Plymouth then Fiji then USA and this Sunday I'll be going to New Plymouth again.

This is my final summer as a student afterall, and I am making used of it.
But this is also my final summer living at home with my parents.. i'll make up to it by staying home more during uni time, will try to camp less in uni.

Updates have been done on facebook during my travelling in the states, so i'm not repeating it here, i have zero energy left anyway, but overall it was a memorable experience.

Home sweet home, i miss my bed so much.

Last of 2011

2011-12-31T13:03:00.000+13:00

Leaving to the states, bye bye NZ once again.

Going to have double new years
:):)

See you next year!

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-27T14:50:00.000+13:00

Fiji was a blast, a very relaxing holiday indeed.
Back in NZ just in time for christmas dinner but leaving again to the states in 4 days!

Fiji photos will be up on Frank's account on facebook, I'm too busy packing for my trip and sorting out last minute stuff before i leave..I'm going to start 2012 with snow!!!

By the way, I have been so busy last few weeks I don't have time or new year's resoluton again this year, i think i haven't done one in the last year too, but 2011 has turned out pretty well for me.

2011 has flown through, so much has happened in this year, as with last year, the last few months turns out to be the most happening ones. I am grateful for everything that has happened to me this year. Being so busy also made me realise i am a terrible multi-tasker, and also a very grumpy one when I am stressed up.

I hope 2012 has more great stuff to come, spending new year's eve on Los Angeles and the first one and half months of 2012 in the states seems promising. I wish all of you a great remaining 2011 and let's bring it on 2012!

The united states, here I come!!

This does not mean I am disappearing till Feb, I might pop on facebook here and there while i'm travelling in the states since internet is abundant there. Not so much of blog though, but will keep you updated!

Enjoy the last 4 days of 2011 as it'll never come by again!

Leaving tmr!!

2011-12-19T23:52:00.000+13:00

Going to Fiji tomorrow~

Pictures

2011-12-19T12:35:00.000+13:00

Cody on the bed

Sheep's eyes are gone

19th Dec

2011-12-19T11:52:00.002+13:00

Today marks our 4 year anniversary.
Happy anniversary dear :)

Late night thoughts

2011-12-16T03:44:00.002+13:00

It's late. As you can see from the time when this post is made.

I've been having these late nights, funny how I procrastinate even more during holiday time, even though i have nothing to do.

Late nights mean deep thoughts, as usual.

I have been thinking.

Sometimes the comfortable route seems too good to be real.

And the inner fear takes over, what if all this doesn't go as planned, what if, i'd hoped too much and get disappointed in the end.

There are so many what if's, I don't like uncertainties, my natural response was to avoid failure, and to do so i opted to run away. If I don't have it in the first place, I will never lose it.

But do I really want to run? I have worked so hard for this, come so far. Right now, it feels so comfortable to just stay at where I am, staying on track is my comfort zone.

But can my comfort be secured?

More picture updates

2011-12-13T02:20:00.007+13:00

From now on, I will not be posting pictures like these up on blog. It takes too much time doubling the work. These will be on facebook and i guess that means i will not be updating blog as often, but I will try to keep it alive :)

Met chipmunks while shopping for Fiona's birthday present, they were still dressing up at the car park and we went over for a picture.

Sony rocks!

Birthday girl

Went to Christmas in park at night

Merry Christmas!

Early christmas present

2011-12-12T19:46:00.000+13:00

Christmas present from Frank

Good bye to old phone!

Pinky was so cute, she made a nest for herself

All curled up in her nest ready for bed

Good night everybody!

Picture updates~

2011-12-08T17:59:00.001+13:00

Frank came back and we went down to New Plymouth together, i had my hospital placement in the first week and stayed for another week after.

Visited Kaito, he is so much bigger than last time

Playing hide and seek with him

On our way back up to Auckland

Cows

The sky of New Zealand

Home, and found my roses dead.

Took Pinky out to dog event at domain the next day

Met lots of other dogs

Chilling at home after the sunny morning

Pinky was exhausted after the day out

Celebrated Ronda's birthday the next day

Had dinner with parents, the seafood was yummy!!

The diamond clams were good! Better than Msia's lala...

King clam

Back home chilling before Frank head back to New Plymouth again.

Pinky so cute! :)

Back in Auckland

2011-12-05T00:17:00.000+13:00

I haven't been blogging much lately because most updates are up on facebook. Ever since i got a new facebook account, i have been quite lazy to double up the pictures here. I will still try to update pictures onto blog, but it seems silly to do the same work twice. I guess I will reserve blog for more private pictures.

So I am back at Auckland now, last 2 weeks was spent in New Plymouth.
We went for a doggie walk event on Saturday and celebrated Ronda's 24th birthday this morning.
Frank is back in New Plymouth and will come up again next weekend.

We bought tickets to go to Fiji during christmas this year, leaving on 20th and back on 25th. And then I will be flying off to the states on 31st and spend new year's there.

Our 4 year anniversary is 19th December which is a day before we leave for Fiji, so this trip is kinda of like an anniversary trip as well as to make up for the time we were apart for last 6 months. We just wanted to spend some alone time together i guess. This will be my first time to Fiji, and I am quite excited about it! Not sure if it was a good idea having so many overseas trip in so short amount of time, but i have to make use of the holiday time i have as a student.

Also, our 4 year anniversary is coming up real soon! This is my first time having such as long relationship, not that I have thhaat many to begin with, but celebrating 4th year aniversary is quite an amazing feeling, how time flies and 4 year sounds like a long long time!

If everything goes well, this will be my last summer holiday as a carefree student before i enter the working world end of next. So, i am trying to do as much as i can and travel all i want.
By the way, i posted my result from last semester but not this. Despite all the problems i went through this semester, i surprisingly did alright for this semester and got the same average as last semester. I am very proud of myself and I hope i keep this grade up for next year. Fingers cross!

Thursday

2011-12-01T10:38:00.001+13:00

Here's something more cheerful.

Part 3 officially over

2011-11-28T16:34:00.000+13:00

This morning I typed a long post.. still wondering if i should post it up.

Just when I was deciding, i received a message saying my results were out.

So i checked... despite being late for lunch preparation.

And...

I have passed Part 3.

I am finally on to the final year.
I have gone through the 'hardest' year, or so they say.

:)

Placement done!

2011-11-27T13:01:00.001+13:00

I haven't written any posts for a while, that is because I'm in New Plymouth, had my hospital placement this week, it was a good experience. Now it's all done I am officially on holiday!

I'm staying here for another week next week and will update then!

My turn for a surprise!

2011-11-20T14:39:00.000+13:00

Made banana chocolate cupcakes for Frank as a welcome home surprise!

The ingredients.

Ipad2 is an essential, you'll see soon why i need it. Got my banana mashed up.

This is why i needed it, instructions video! haha

Ready to be baked!

Look at them rise!!

Hehe deco step.

With of course, white chocolate fudge!

All packed up, ready for a trip to the airport :)

Random pictures

2011-11-19T22:23:00.000+13:00

Happy Frank is coming back soon!

Xmas tree is up!!

Mum chose purple as theme this year, i reckon it's a great choice!

Time for the pets to rest

Still waiting to use this baby! :)

Spring Clean!

2011-11-19T15:41:00.003+13:00

Finally have finished cleaning my room!

Before

After

Before
After

Before
After Feels good ripping off the big study calender

Before

Left over redbull...

After Dust free!

Pinky says good night! We are going to enjoy some nice candle in a clean room.

Making memories of us

2011-11-19T15:15:00.000+13:00

Loving this song at the moment, i want it played on my wedding!

Gays and pharmacy

2011-11-18T22:08:00.000+13:00

Found out from facebook that another guy in pharmacy school is gay.

Lost count of how many gay people i know now....... And I did not know any before pharmacy school....

But why? Does gay and pharmacy go hand in hand or something.

Don't get me wrong, not that I have any problem with that, I know some of them personally and they are great friends!

Just wonder though do gay people give this vibe during interview that made them get accepted or something.. it can't be coincidence, can it?

Domain walk, ducklings and new camera!

2011-11-18T11:40:00.002+13:00

just showered

hair is dry

Walk at Domain

Pinky is my model~

Pretty pinky and pretty trees

The photographer

Mummy duck with 9 baby ducklings!!!

They were scared of me..lol

Mummy duck asking me to stay away

So cute!!!!

Mum and Pinky on a tree

Pinky aand ducks behind her

Resting pigeon

We bought a new camera!

Finally! No more crappy phone camera quality :P

I like the wireless charger~

Almost there..

2011-11-17T19:25:00.000+13:00

2 more days!

And it'll be the end of overseas long distance relationship ever!!

Being apart for 6 months now, went through some rocky obstacles too!
The amount of fights we had in the last 6 months was more then the total amount of fights we've had for the last 4 years we were together (4 years anniversary next month).

And now, we can say BYE to time difference, unable to text, terrible phone line, disconnecting skype and the feeling of not being able to reach out when we want to. Hell yeah!

I have proven it worked. Well, kind of, we survived after all.
So none of this sh*t ever again.

The extra money is not worth the pain. No kidding!
Nothing is worth the pain.

3

2011-11-17T01:08:00.003+13:00

THREE more days!!

:)

Hair day 2

2011-11-17T00:09:00.000+13:00

Woke up with hair looking sexy!

Dressed up ready to go out

Curls are not as prominent, softer and more natural now~

Starbucks ^.^

=)

2011-11-16T11:20:00.000+13:00

Just notice my posts after exams and before exams are so different.

Before = depressing posts

After = cheerful posts

I think I'm officially in a holiday mode now~

3 more months of holiday ahead! Hooray!!!

New Hair!!!

2011-11-16T11:01:00.000+13:00

Right after getting hair done

Ready for shopping!

Side view to show new hair~

Met up with Gram~

Dinner at Japanese Restaurant

Browns Bay... Again!! Attempted to go to Mairangi Bay this time but went the wrong way lol

Back home after shopping dinner and beach

Hair doesn't look as curly as before.. Or was i just being paranoid?

This hair style does make me look more mature.. but also made me look dolled up lol. The lady said the curl lasts 3 months, i doubt so though. Would say maybe 1.5 month if i take good care of it~

New hair style

2011-11-15T12:18:00.002+13:00

In response to my previous *post* I have decided to choose the option of pretending i didn't receive anything. Better than making up lame excuses right.

Guess what I've been up to this morning?

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Wanna see the outcome?

Will post pictures up later tonight.

By the way, I have changed Grumpy's water bowl 3 times since the last time i thought he died. And now he is as lively as ever, happily living with me :)
That's my little fighter!

Calves so sore

2011-11-15T12:03:00.002+13:00

After math for not exercising for a whole year, and then go hard out in tennis without warming up.
Had to use heat pad on my calves...

Still went for a run at the beach though :)

Browns Bay Beach

2011-11-15T12:02:00.001+13:00

Here are the pictures taken at Browns Bay Beach.
Enjoy!

Pink roses surprise!

2011-11-14T21:29:00.002+13:00

I promise this is the last of picture galore!!
This deserves a post of its own.
A very sweet surprise at my door step after i got up.

The red roses were from last surprise.. all dried up but still pretty. Now I have new ones to replace my bedside deco

Thank you <3

Random pictures during and after exams

2011-11-14T21:21:00.000+13:00

My study buddy sharing heater with me

Forgot where these food were taken from..

Pinky's toys after play time

Cody wanting attention so block my view as usual

Purr purr purrrrr

Cupcakes!!

Thank you to my Angel for the lovely cupcakes!

Something special about the expiry date, guess what? So special i had to buy 10 of it

Nah i didn't buy 10 because of that. It was on on super sale because of the short date but the date was indeed a very special one :)

Pictures galore!

2011-11-14T20:55:00.001+13:00

*At times like this i miss the wordpress slideshow function.. don't know how to work that in blogger*

Langham Hotel Restaurant Eight, pool, karaoke

Mission Bay

Tennis and chilling out the the park

Monday

2011-11-14T13:34:00.001+13:00

Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

Birthday

2011-11-14T11:49:00.001+13:00

Happy Birthday to older brother

A reply 13 days late

2011-11-13T21:19:00.002+13:00

Have you ever received a text from somebody you don't usually chat with, you would love to catch up with that person however you were very busy at the moment, and you had three other important texts to reply to. When busy i meant just before an exam, and the more important texts are to sort transportation after exam.
After your busy moment you totally forgot about the text you ought to reply.

13 days later, there was a reminder at the back of your head that you have neglected something, you grabbed your phone and went through all the texts in the past 13 days, which is a lot. Finally found that text that says 'Hey how are you? Happy halloween!'
And then you realize how rude you were for not replying....

What would you do?
Continue ignoring and hope that next time you see them they wouldn't remember?
Pretend you never received anything if they ask you?
Or send a reply, and make up lame excuses for forgetting to reply for 13 days???

haha help me out here..

By the way, sorry for disappearing. Every since exams have ended, I have been catching up on life.
Will post pictures up soon enough!
My room is a pile of mess, worse than during exam time. I don't even know how that happens...

6/6 done

2011-11-09T17:47:00.002+13:00

It's done.
I've never felt so peaceful in ages.

:)

Time to finally rest.

1 more to go..

2011-11-08T22:42:00.000+13:00

My freedom is approximately 14 hours away.

Having tension headache.... but it's ok.
I can sleep alllll i want after this.
It's been a loong 2 weeks, oh yes it sure is.
Sh*t loads of drugs crammed into my brain in this 2 weeks too.

Almost there.
:)

Coolest video!

2011-11-07T00:21:00.000+13:00

Precisely what I am feeling right now.

haha

Facebook

2011-11-05T10:53:00.000+13:00

By the way.
I have gotten myself a new facebook account.
Not the best timing to.
But I did.

Will go more into it after Wednesday.
Just. 5 more days.

Just something to start my day

2011-11-05T10:47:00.000+13:00

Karma

2011-11-03T23:13:00.003+13:00

2 more!

2011-11-02T17:44:00.004+13:00

Oh I love how fast time flies.
4 down, 2 to go.
:)

Really wonder how i pulled through the past 5 days with 4 papers back to back.
Amazing how adrenaline and caffeine can keep you going.
But it's not time to go down YET, we have one more week to go. Though I had a bit of treat today with a friend at giapo ice cream. Hey, we deserve a break after some crazy ass drilling dispensing assessment.

I'm excited I'm almost there.
This summer calls for a big celebration.
I am waiting.

My stress reliever :)

November

2011-11-01T18:21:00.002+13:00

3 down, 3 to go.

Grumpy's update

2011-10-31T21:13:00.002+13:00

Came home to see Grumpy floating lifelessly, was so scared he died.
Turns out he is still alive, but his water bowl was filthy because I haven't changed his water bowl for months.

I would feel so guilty if i killed him because of neglect.
I am so sorry.. i hope you live long and happily. I will not let you swim in your faeces anymore.
What only takes 5 minutes almost killed him. :-(

He was ferociously attaching the net when i tried to transfer him, i hope that's a sign of survival? Please live on long with me!

Oh by the way, 2 down, 4 more to go!

smiles

2011-10-29T20:00:00.000+13:00

First one down.

2011-10-29T17:29:00.000+13:00

1 down, 5 more to go.
Wish time would fly faster.

It will all be over soon.
I am waiting for 9th of November 2011 12.30pm.

Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

2011-10-27T10:48:00.001+13:00

Slept for good 9 hours.
Replenishment is what I need.

I am calmed, although headache is still there.
I'll just do my best for this 2 weeks.

Had a 2 hour talk with him last night. Still prefer talking to him in real but i'm not complaining.
I guess last 2 weeks with all the emotions and stress really put me in a position where i couldn't see things clearly. Being so one sided and close minded really put us through strain.

But I guess there's only so much you can control in life.
Sometimes it is easier to go with the flow.
I have totally lost that connection i once had with myself.
I started letting my inner thoughts affect me.

I wish I could always stay calm. But I'm only human.

What you see is one thing, but what you choose to believe is another.

Fingers cross I pass this semester.

And all our plans can fall into place as planned.

But in the process, I will keep in mind, that there's only so much we can control.

I'm off to uni for a good say of study.

I wish all of you a good day too.

2 more days

2011-10-26T21:17:00.001+13:00

It was not a good idea to have caffeine at 7pm.

After a night without sleep and feeling like dying the next day, I have learnt my lesson.

I have a feeling I will repeat it some day though.

Me being me.

2 more days til first exam.
2 more weeks til freedom.
I am not liking it.

Fate

2011-10-24T23:21:00.000+13:00

Oh Karma how i love you and hate you sometimes.

Roller coaster

2011-10-24T10:00:00.001+13:00

So I've been on a roller coaster lately.

Ups and downs fluctuates through out the day.

I wrote a long post, but decided not to post it up.
I might in the future, right now it's sitting in my draft.

If I wait, will it be too late then?
But if i were to do something now, what can I do?

Champion

2011-10-24T00:14:00.001+13:00

Good job All Blacks.
You made us proud.

It's ok not to be ok

2011-10-21T21:37:00.002+13:00

Quote

2011-10-21T21:35:00.001+13:00

I haven't posted quotes in a while, that's simply because I stopped searching.

Quote for today,

''Inner strength comes from stuggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.''

Focus focus focus

2011-10-20T23:13:00.002+13:00

I need to focus!!!!!!!!!

=(

Birthday!

2011-10-18T18:07:00.002+13:00

Happy 27th Birthday Baby
=)

Shattered

2011-10-16T09:35:00.000+13:00

Others are not responsible for your lies. You can have 1 million excuses to do so, but really, lying is your personal choice, do not blame it on others.

It was NOT for me, it was for yourself.

=(

2011-10-15T12:35:00.000+13:00

Exams in 2 weeks.
I am still depressed and very stressed.

It does not help hearing all this fun things other people are doing, while I am stuck here at one position trying to pass my exams. It takes a lot to try be happy for them.

I just hope this is over soon in a good way. And hope all this stress that has been built up does not make me mental.

It will be okay after exams, i kept telling myself.
But a lot of things cannot be reversed, such as the time that has passed.

I just want this to be over.

Hope that fades

2011-10-09T18:15:00.001+13:00

I'm not going to lie.
I have been very depressed lately.

I have put back blogging many times, simply because i did not know how to express myself, and i didn't want people to get the wrong idea. I know i mentioned how i like to express my feelings here, but i also became a victim of the publicity. Sometimes, some things are best not mentioned.

A lot has been going on lately, namely approaching exams, failing assessments, family issues, life, friends, relationship, everything.

I am dying on the inside slowly.

The pressure in me is starting to show on my health. The stress inside me is pushing everyone away from me.
I am pushing everyone away from me.

Sometimes i wonder is everything really going to be worth it in the end?
Giving up so much for a damn degree. Will i really be happier when i finish? What does my future holds? Is this really what I wanted?
I did this to run away from my past, but will i ever be able to?
The more I try to act like everything's ok, the worse things become.

Long distance relationship, one after another time. Why did I even let it happen? Again? As if one failed experience wasn't enough.
Study.. passing exams.. what's all this for anyway?
Friends, competition, betrayal, lies... the more you know, the harder it gets.

I wish I could just give it all up.
I wish I could just end it all.

I'm all alone. I guess I was never not alone.

Trip confirmed!

2011-10-06T21:15:00.000+13:00

In the midst of stress...
The exchange programme is finally finalized!
And I have literally just made the first payment to part of my trip fee!

I will be going to USA on New year's eve for 5 weeks! 2 weeks of holiday, 3 weeks for a student exchange programme.

The main city we are visiting includes LA - Las Vegas - Memphis - New York!!

Spending New year's in LA..and then Las Vegas.
Excited =D

Words that hurt

2011-10-02T21:26:00.000+13:00

Some things are so simple but people just don't get.

Some words that are said can never be taken back.

One time after another, we take each other for granted.
Spreading untrue rumours, with the intention just to hurt..

Hurting someone who did nothing wrong,
hurting someone who gave her entire life to love you.

Does hurting someone really makes you happy?

I thought it only hurts you back in double?

Well, that's what I think anyway.
Maybe it's different for them..

Why they did it? I don't know.

I hope one day they realize.

I have given up.

=(

2011-09-26T20:28:00.001+13:00

Bad result, bad assessment.

I have been lazy.

Enough said.

Alone

2011-09-25T21:34:00.000+13:00

Have dispensing assessment tomorrow... feeling kinda lonely~
Please let this semester be over soon, in a good way.

Cody

2011-09-20T17:05:00.004+12:00

I just had another placement today and went to one of NZ's biggest industrial manufacturing factory. Experience was okay but i would never want to work in a manufacturing company, I'm sticking to hospital or community. Quite looking forward to my hospital placement end of this year.

I was looking through my folders and found a few videos of Cody taken earlier this year. Pinky seems to always be in the lime light but Cody's actually quite a character in the family too. He is big for a cat, about the same size as Pinky but he has a healthy weight, although he used to be obese.

Cats are different than dogs, they both make good companions but are totally opposite. Once you understand their differences you get to see how interesting they can be.

So i took a break from studying and compiled a video of Cody. As you can see in the video, the way we play with Cody is different, no fetching ball and running in a big green field, more like standing there entertaining him with a string or his favourite lamb toy. The two black round objects that got Cody all curious were Frank's weights. He left it at my place the other day and when Cody came to my room, he got suspicious and acted funnily.

He mostly just sleep all day. He gets grumpy if you try to disturb his sleep. When he wants attention, he'll literally get it, by jumping up your desk and sit right in front of you, with his big bum blocking your screen. He either finally gets some patting, or gets told off, usually the latter. And as you can see, we like to push his buttons by 'bullying' him until he had enough.

Mid sem tests over!

2011-09-16T18:21:00.003+12:00

Just had 2 tests today and an assignment due. Had another test early this week.

This week has been long, but i've never felt so relieved now that it's all over!!

More assignments due next week, but going home early after a big test feels so good!

=D *happy*

=D

2011-09-10T02:02:00.000+12:00

MY silly fly~~

Rugby Worldcup opening

2011-09-09T15:25:00.003+12:00

''There have also been reports of massive crowds at Albany bus station on Auckland's North Shore, with about 500 people waiting there.''

Luckily i decided to stay home.

Or i would have been stuck in the crowd.

Rugby world cup opening ceremony today.

And i wont be any part of it. Because i have tests.

Walk

2011-09-07T17:45:00.004+12:00

Took Pinky to the school field we always go to.

Love quotes

2011-09-07T16:31:00.005+12:00

Found this love quote..

''When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths.
For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away... ''

Sorry my posts has been all depressing lately. I'm trying to get myself motivated, to study, to get on with life, to do simple daily tasks. I'm sick of studying since years ago, obviously i'm doing this just to get by.

I used to think that I knew what i wanted for my future, i had it all planned, but i'm not so sure anymore. It may be the depression's back, the one i thought i got rid of long time ago, or it might be the bug in my brain that's growing again, the lazy procrastinator bug. I'm tired everyday, i get up in the morning, forgetting what my purpose is. I sit down all day staring at my books, how much can a person remember anyway.

I need a life, since ages ago. But i held everything back so that i could have a life in the future. I work hard, sacrificing fun and entertainment. But i'm only human, how long can a person live without socialising? Years passed, you then realize your anti-social behaviour has turned permanent. Then what? You realize the future you have been planning isn't going as well as you expected. Putting your life as a bet, and when you lose, what happens next?

I'm just being very lost at the moment, perhaps it's time for a walk with my dog. I need to snap out of this. There's too much negativity around me.
I'm all alone. Once again. Will i ever get out of this? Sometimes i just feel like giving it all up, pack my bags and leave. Go to a new country, a brand new place, and start it all over again.
But wait, we have done that, haven't we? And the problem was never solved.

Run run run away... is all we know to do.

My problem is, me.

Birthday Pictures

2011-09-07T14:03:00.002+12:00

Mum made me tiramisu birthday cake

Birthday gifts from family!

Frank being 'tortured' by the spaceship massage chair

Favourite red roses

More birthday gifts!

Back to studying

2011-09-05T10:06:00.002+12:00

Yesterday was rough.

I guess this is the downside of falling in love.

You become so attached it almost hurt when you are apart.

Brand new week ahead, i should really be worrying about my studies instead, been slacking for the entire semester.

Wish me pass all my coming tests!

It'll be worth it in the end

2011-09-04T20:34:00.004+12:00

Can't seem to get my mind off him.

I realize that this morning was the very first time i send someone off in the airport. I've always managed to avoid such occasions until now.

It's no wonder that this departure was so much harder to handle, compared to the many many ones before. Maybe because it's the longest time apart, or maybe it's because i actually saw him walked away.

The fight with my tears was hard.

The last kiss was even harder.

This week has gone by too fast. Seems like yesterday I was happily picking him up from the airport.

I now know how it feels to be the one left behind.

Got a template for my blog~

2011-09-04T18:32:00.004+12:00

Got a template done, finally!

Used the same picture as old blog because i simply couldn't find any other one more suitable.

That particular picture was actually taken by Frank when we first started dating, while he was shopping for a box for me to keep little things i wanted to remember =)

Blog's a little pinkish.. i'll worry about that later when i get sick of it.

For now, it's pretty much set.

Next week on it'll be study 24/7.

Fun!

Not!

He is gone again

2011-09-04T16:29:00.005+12:00

Here I am, sitting in his room. Looking at the spacious floor.

The tidy bed invites me for a quick nap, only that warmth is missing.

As i typed away on this antique computer, youtubing away.

An annoying trojan attacked me.

Took me an hour trying to remove it.

And finally had to restore the computer. Twice.

At times like this, the missing gets even more.

Yes, the rather unanticipated time is here.

He's gone again.

For a straight 3 months this time.

The longest ever for the record.

It's going to be a lonely Spring.

Musick Point

2011-09-04T16:26:00.004+12:00

Went to Musick point with Frank on Friday. Weather and view was great for the start of spring.

Video was taken by his new phone =)

Moving here and there...

2008-03-26T22:12:00.003+13:00

I have decided to stick to wordpress for now. So yeah. *click*

Easter

2008-03-25T19:04:00.000+13:00

This is how i spent easter this year.

Hola

2008-03-25T16:56:00.000+13:00

I have decided to switch back to blogspot, reason is because i am pmsing and i feel like wasting my time on these rather than studying ;P
There goes my last easter holiday for this year~